Blessings Abound

        We had another fundraiser this weekend and blessings abounded. We made $1,400 toward our adoption fund and had a great weekend meeting new people from our neighborhood. We had many people come and tell us about how they adopted there children and it was just really inspiring to see all the happy families and all the supportive people. It just really made me feel encouraged about what we are doing instead of discouraged. The sun was mostly out (a great accomplishment for Oregon) and it only poured for a couple hours. We had lots of help from family and friends and it was over all a great weekend. We also got a personal donation of $500 for the adoption which was quite a shock for us. We will be having another garage sale next weekend to try and get rid of all the left over stuff. Please come out and say hi.
         At church last Sunday we learned that there was another $500 dollars donated by church members bringing the total money our church has raised for us up to $1,500. Furthermore they have set up a day at the end of July where we will talk about adoption in church and then have an ice cream social and a free will offering. That is very exciting, I haven't talked in front of a church since I was in high school and I am excited to tell everyone about adoption. Of course all are welcome to come.  
            Through late orders from our jewelry show we raised a total of $320 dollars, we also have about $700 of our own money we have been saving. So I'm not gonna add up the totals but I will be making a big payment to the adoption agency next week and then I will change the amount we need to the right on this page.
           I just can't express how happy it makes my heart to see all the love and support from family and friends so thank you so much and keep the love coming.

Dreams and waiting

So i've ben having dreams about baby (who needs a better temporary name then baby. Dan votes for squishy but that just confuses India because her favorite baby doll is named squishy). Anyway the most recent dream i had was that there were two people from Oregon City who both picked us to be the parents of thier child and we had to decide wich one to take. I woke up and told Dan this and he goes "well thats easy we would take both of them." He's not wrong, we may be crazy but hes not wrong. Most of the time my dreams just are warm fuzzy feelings like rocking the baby and cooing at the baby with India at my side and stuff like that. It is an interesting feeling waiting for a baby when you don't know when its coming. In some ways its like being pregnant and you can't wait to see your child and you dream about it. In other ways its so differnt because you can't be sure that at the end of nine months you will actully get to see your baby. You may have to wait way longer then that or you may get lucky and get one way sooner. Not having a timeline is hard.
              In other waiting news I've gotten two emails from our adoption agency lately the first one was to tell me that they have not had anyone look at our book thus far. that thier just hasn't been the opertunity. Let me clarify what this means: the adoptive parents have a list of things they want in a baby and the birth mom has a list of things they want in an adoptive family. The agency matches these lists to each other and then shows a scrapebook of the adoptive family to the birthmom. She then decides if she wants to meet you. So what our adoption agency was saying was that they have had no matches to show our scerapebook to. In a way this is a relief, because it;s not that twenty birthmoms have seen our book and didn't like us it's that no one has seen our book. In another way it makes me think this is gonna take a while.

Fundraising: the nasty truth

         We had a fundraiser today. A lady from a jewelry company offered to give us 80% of the profits. This is a great deal. So for months I planned and planned this party. A jewelry party where people come and buy pretty jewelry and I would also talk about adoption so people could know more about it. I had free food. It was my goal to get 100 people there. I know that sounds like a lot but we have an extremely large family. My family alone (aunts, uncles, and cousins) is around 80 people. I have over 200 Facebook friends. Now i knew that not everyone would come and i knew that not most of them would come. But I did think my family would come, furthermore I asked everyone I invited to please bring a friend, so really 100 people didn't seem that high to me.
                13 people showed up 13.  Now I am extremely grateful to those 13 and between them we raised $182.00 for the adoption fund. But I'm just annoyed with everyone else who didn't come. It makes me so sad. Why can I get 46 people to come to my five year olds birthday party but I can only get 13 to come help give a baby a great home. Here is the nasty truth: FUNDRAISING SUCKS. I know people don't like giving there hard earned money away, I certainly don't, but you know what is equally un-fun? Asking for money and asking for help. Nobody likes it, I really don't like it. I wish I had a million dollars, or hey even $23,000 so I didn't have to go asking everyone I know for there help but I don't have that much, I don't have anywhere close to that much. So I'm left with the arduous task of fundraising which is so draining I can't believe it. I have a friend whose daughter has Cystic Fibrosis and it seems like all she ever does is fund raise to try and save her child's life. She is fast becoming my hero cause I don't know how she can stand all this fundraising stuff (much less all the other trials of having a daughter with Cystic Fibrosis).
                 If you are a friend or family member of ours (or just reading our blog) I am begging you to please support us. You do not need money, there are other ways to help, there is a whole blog on here entitled "What I can do to help" It is really heartbreaking to plan a party for 100 people and have 13 show up. It is really great to have a fundraiser and have a familiar face come say "hi, hows it going" that lifts our spirits. I'm sorry if this blog is kinda a downer but I said at the top we were gonna share our trials and joy and raising money is defiantly a trial.
                     

What Can I do to Help?

What Can I do to Help?

            1) Pray, pray, pray. Right now we have three specific prayer requests, they are the same ones we as a family every night: 1) That the baby already knows we love it. 2) That the birth mother finds peace in this extremely difficult decision and that she finds us. 3) That we raise enough money to fund this adoption

            2) You can also help by being involved in and coming to our fundraisers. It’s very disheartening not to have moral support of your friends and family.

            3) If you know of any great fundraising ideas please let us know, we are all ears

4) If you would like to donate money, why I think we might let you. You can even do it right now by going to the Pay Pal account on this page

Commonly Asked Questions About Our Adoption

Commonly Asked Questions About our Adoption.

1)      Are we getting a boy or a girl? Although you can specify a gender, we chose not to, so we do not now yet if it will be a boy or a girl.

2)      How much does adoption cost? A whole lotta money.  Around $28,000.

3)      Where is the baby coming from? Although our agency is nationwide so technically he or she could come from anywhere in the US, the baby will probably come from the Pacific Northwest area where we live.

4)      What is an adoption agency? Experts in the adoption process that help people to adopt, and very often provide substantial assistance to the birth mother at no cost to her. Our adoption agency, Bethany Christian Services, focuses on every aspect of adoption. They take great care to see that the birth mother as well as the adoptive family is taken care of before and after the adoption.

Money

Money: Why Does Adoption Cost so Much and How Are Middle Class People Like Us Going to Pay for It?

            Good question, hard answers. A typical adoption costs between $28,000 and $30,000. This hefty cost breaks down lawyer fees, paperwork fees, court fees, and agency fees as well as potentially assisting in the medical costs of the birth mother.  How are we, a one income, middle class household going to pay for it? Have you ever hear the phrase, “a wing and a prayer” or just “prayer, prayer, prayer”?  Simply put, without assistance, we can’t afford it. We have been doing some fundraising and will be doing lots more (if you have any great fundraising ideas we would love to hear them). There are scholarships and grants you can apply for, each of these pay up to $3,000 and so we will apply to as many of those as we can but the applications are about as tedious as applying for an adoption itself so it is a long process. There are also non-interest loans you can apply for with adoption based mostly on the agreement that you will pay them back with your adoption credit from your taxes the next year. We will probably do that as well. We are already down to $23,000 so we have a little ways to go yet.

How does adoption work Today?

How does adoption work today?

            A lot of people have asked about how this whole adoption thing works.  To begin with, it depends on what type of adoption you are pursuing.  A foreign adoption has it’s own challenges (and rewards) and is worth an article in and of itself.  We are pursuing a domestic (United States, probably even the Northwest), infant adoption.  Here are the basics on how that works:   

            Once you decide you want to adopt you have to choose an adoption agency that you believe will fit with you. There are a myriad of options available; you can choose from faith-based or secular, agencies with a specialty, or agencies that work primarily in a given geographic region.  It is a good idea to choose a few to make contact with and see who you feel comfortable working with. 

Once you have chosen an agency to work with you will need to begin the application process. This is a surprisingly intimate and personal process; it typically begins with filling out several forms and questionnaires, having an interview, obtaining a physical, and finally the home visit. The idea of a home visit is intimidating to some people but there is really no reason for this; it was in fact one of the more simple parts of the process, and really one of the most enjoyable.  When all is said and done you will have shared essentially your whole life story, and this is when the real fun begins as you get to really start thinking about the new baby that is going to be a part of your life.

            Now that we have fully introduced and described ourselves to the adoption agency, it is time to describe what we are looking for in a baby.  In truth, this part of the process can feel awkward at times, as we select characteristics of the mother and baby we are comfortable with or uncomfortable with, but it is an important part of the process and important to be honest with yourself and your adoption case worker about what you are able to handle and not handle as parents.  You will be asked questions about the race and gender of the baby, the family history of the birth parents (Will you accept a baby from a mother with a mental health history?) and the pregnancy process (Will you accept a baby from a mother who was on drugs during pregnancy?). There are many, many questions like this for you and your spouse to answer, and the birth parents will be answering a similar list of questions about you and your lifestyle.  When this process is complete the adoption agency acts as a sort of matchmaker between the birth and adoptive parents, finding 3-4 adoptive families that match the characteristics the birth mom is looking for.

            As an adoptive family you will create a scrapbook that will introduce you to the birth parents, including family pictures, activities you enjoy, and letters to each of the birth parents.  This again can sometimes feel awkward, as you begin to think of “selling yourself” to the birth parents or competing against the other adoptive parents, but a better approach is to simply view it for what it is, an introduction to who you are, and trust in God for the rest.  From these scrapbooks the birth mom picks one or two families she would like to meet after which both adoptive and birth parents will make a decision if they want to proceed.

            Approximately 98% of the adoptions that take place today in the United States are open adoptions, which means that you, the birth parents, and the baby will be staying in contact with each other even after the adoption takes place.  You will send the birth parents regular updates and pictures and even have meetings together every now and again. This sort of arrangement, while perhaps intimidating at first, has proven to be the most beneficial for all involved as it provides closure and completeness.  

            When the big day comes we will have built a relationship with the birth mom based on mutual support and encouragement, and when our baby is born he or she will leave the hospital with us, our newest member of the family.  In the meantime, we are working hard at the part of the adoption process we haven’t mentioned yet, raising the funds.  All told, the adoption will cost around $28,000, but more on that to come.