WOW what a day we have had in the world of adoption. I woke up this morning to find an event on my facebook that is a fundraiser for our adoption. A girl we know set this up for us. It is a raffle with four great prizes and after her first dai she has alreadi raised $45 dollars for us. I am so proud of her and appriciate her hard work imensli. Secondli I got the mail this afternoon and in it was a letter from a grant organization I applied to awarding us $4,000. I was told when I applied for this particular grant that there average awards were between $1,500 and $3,000. How we got $4,000 I'll never know, must have been God. Incredible. It made me do a happy dance in our living room. We are so close to having a baby I just know it. I am so excited.
Here is where the frustration comes in. Mere moments after I got the mail (I was still jumping up and down in excitement) I received an email from the adoption agency. They had received the news of our grant and were letting us know. The way the grant works is they pay it to the adoption agency at the time we receive the baby. Generally this is not a problem. Every one knows the money is coming. At the end of this email our case worker says that we have a balance of $197.00 on our account (this I knew, it is due before we go to the next fee) she continues that as soon as we pay this she can start showing our book to all the birth mothers. WAIT? WHAT? I thought they were showing our book to birth mothers for the last nine months and no one has chosen us yet. I was greatly confused and greatly frustrated because on several occasions now the agency has called us and asked our permission to show a book to a mother with health issues. Now so far none of these have worked out but I don't understand why they could show our book to those mothers when we hadn't paid the fee and not "regular mothers" Furthermore nobody told me this fee had to be paid before they showed our book and as I've said I thought they were showing it this whole time. I was so frustrated I wanted to cry because I felt like we have missed out on months we could have been matched with a baby. Dan says I should actually feel good about it because people haven't been looking at our book and not choosing us they just simply haven't been shown it. So hopefully once it starts getting shown someone will pick us very soon. Which again is only $197.00 away.
The other day India and I were rocking in the chair in the baby room and she ask if I would love the new baby more then her. We proceeded to have a very sweet conversation about how she loves daddy and I the same but that were different like mommy is especially good for cuddling and daddy is especially good for wrestling and it will be the same way with how we love the baby. We will love baby just as much as her but there are certain things we can do with her and not the baby (like go to princesses on ice) and certain things only the baby can do (like eat bottles and go in the swing) It was a great little conversation she is going to such a great big sister.
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